


losing

by erintoknow



Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén, Fallen Hero: Rebirth (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Intimacy, Kissing, Lesbian Sex, POV Female Character, POV Second Person, Sex, Touching, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Vibrators, learning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 11:48:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19852546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erintoknow/pseuds/erintoknow
Summary: you weren’t prepared for the amount of talking being with Julia entailed





	losing

You weren’t prepared for the amount of talking that being with Julia entailed. You thought it’d be like a movie or a book where everyone just ‘knew’ what to do, that things could happen naturally, bodies mashing together, insert tab A into slot B, output happy faces. But everything’s out of alignment, a maze of pitfalls every time Julia reaches out to touch you. But it’s not like you know how to touch you any better the she does. Blind leading the blind.

You have to guide her hand down between your legs as she looms over you. “It’s okay,” you reassure her and you can feel your face burning, “It doesn’t um… get hard.” Forcing out each word is a struggle, but it’s worth it for her. “That’s– that’s normal…”

“Oh. Okay.” Julia whispers back you in the dark, and you can feel her fingers on you, and just her touch alone is overwhelming; panic and want in equal measure. “What… what should I, uh… call it?”

“Uh–” You try to pull your brain back together. “I– I don’t know…” you admit. This is the farthest you’ve actually gotten in… maybe ever? without being overwhelmed.

“Okay.” She says, taking it in stride. “What should I do?”

“Um… Just… rub it, I guess…?” Her fingers circle around you and starts a stroking motion and you have to quickly grab her wrist, panic rising up your throat. “No! Sorry, no, not like that.”

“It’s fine.” She says, though she sounds vexed. “What do you usually do?”

Oh god.

“Um–”

Julia guides your hand. “Do you want to just show me?”

She says it so casually! You could faint. Dissolve into the sea. Sink into the earth. “I just…” You shift your hand under Julia’s, “…like this?”

“Oh.” Julia takes over from you and you squirm under her touch, it’s not like you have a wealth of data to compare, but the difference just in having her touch you is– you curse at yourself.

“You okay there?”

“F-fffine!” you squeak.

You reach out a hand for her, brush against the curve of her breast only to immediately pull back. “Sorry!”

“It’s fine! You can touch me.” Julia laughs, her hand still down there, and… it’s difficult to think about anything else. “Oh, hold that thought, I have idea.” What? No, don’t stop.

“What?” You don’t like how she purred the word ‘idea.’ Julia lets go of you, reaching up over your face in the dark, you can hear stuff shift around on her nightstand. A kernel of panic seizes up through you. You just have to trust she won’t turn on the light, see the– her boob hits you in the face as Julia pulls open a drawer.

“Whoops, sorry!” She shifts to the side.

You shrink into the bed. “It’s– it’s fine.” You hand finds her hip, safer territory, tracing the outline of her shape as you run your hand down her thigh. The years of scars – faded ridges. Try to calm your heart.

“Found the vibe,” Julia says as she pulls back. “Don’t worry, it’s clean.”

“What?”

“Oh honey, please tell me you know what a vibe is.”

“I know what a vi-vibe is,” You hiss. “I’m– I’m hopeless, not innocent.”

“Oh?” Julia says, a lilt to her voice. “Is that so?” You hear a quiet buzzing start up, “Then you won’t mind this?”

“What are you–” You suck in your breath as she presses something that is decidedly _not_ her hand just below your belly-button, it’s vibrations traveling across your skin as she drags it down, down, resting against you. You have to grab at the bedsheets, dig your fingers into Julia’s thigh, ground yourself.

Julia laughs, “Ow, easy there!” She leans down over you, awkwardly sandwiching the vibrator against skin on both sides as she kisses your neck. You try to say something as she bites your skin, but it’s incoherent, even for you. You try to counter with a hand in her hair. the other wrapped around her torso. But if this was a fight, you’d be losing. Badly.

You don’t think you mind for once.


End file.
